JM: Looking over this sample lease, I have a few questions about the wording in a few passages.
Landlord: Ask away.
JM: Well, like this part where it says this is an agreement between me, hereinafter referred to as the 'tenant,' and you, hereinafter referred to as the 'slumlord,'
Landlord: WHAT?
JM: Also the part where it says you'll shirk responsibility for repairs by blaming me for all breakdowns up to and including smiting by holy fire.
Landlord: You let a law student pay his rent with labor for a month and look what he does to you.
JM: If it's all the same to you, I think I'm going to look somewhere else for an apartment, thanks.